Friday, March 1, 2013

Library to Move in Time Space Continuum

When library hours were changed from 10p.m. to 2a.m., students were thrilled that they would have more time to study in the library.  While this helped students spend more time on research papers in the library, it did not actually give them more time to study, as there are still only 24 hours in a day.  The general consensus among students was that while it was nice to have a space they could stay in longer to study, what they really needed was more hours in the day to study. 

Based on this reaction, Wellesley’s Physics Department has come up with a solution.  They will move Clapp Library out of our current time-space continuum.  The engineer of this, Peter Van Houten explains, “In our reality we only have 24 hours in a day.  However, as it turns out, if we shift the Clapp Library two feet to the left it will enter an alternate dimension.  In this dimension time operates differently.  What is a minute in our reality is three hours in the other dimension.  It’s like in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.  You could spend a year in there, come back, and only a few minutes will have past.”

While this new system has its perks, there are also potential problems with it.   The main issue is that while time physically slows down, students will still age as if they were in a single time stream.  Theoretically speaking, a student could enter the library as an 18-year-old one minute, and leave as a 60 year old the next.  The College plans on taking measures to prevent such aging discrepancies.

 The student body has responded enthusiastically to these changes.  “I honestly don’t know why it took Wellesley so long to come up with this,” one senior says. “The concept is simple enough, and if they had done this earlier my GPA would definitely be more than 3.7.” 

A second student responded, “Now I don’t need to worry about balancing my double major, Harvard boyfriend, hospital internship, eboard positions and friends. I can have it all!”

No comments:

Post a Comment